Aaron's Talk from Hailey's Service

I have been wanting to put Aaron's talk on here, but didn't want to do it without asking him first. I finally remembered and with his permission I put his talk below.

Remembering Hailey Elizabeth

November 29, 2009

As I look out among you today I see many faces of loved ones, friends and family. I am so thankful that you all have come to support our family. I speak for all of us when we say thank you for all the loving support you have shown to our family.

We have experienced inexplicable joy and the deepest of sorrow in the last nine days. We welcomed one of God's choicest spirits into our family. The love and beauty and joy that Hailey brought into our lives was intense, immediate and all encompassing. I am so sorry that most of you never got to know her. I only hope that I can paint a picture for you of the amazing person that she was.

I was so proud of this little girl. We were all so excited to meet her and get to know her personality. I was blessed to hold her after she was born and bring her to meet her mommy for the first time. I was able to welcome her into this world and show her only love and kindness. I got to carry Hailey into the recovery room and place her on her little warming table and look on as the nurses gave her a sponge bath. I touched her skin and talked to her. I studied every little feature of her angelic face and tiny hands and feet. She was a little unsettled with this new experience outside of the womb. She needed the comfort only her mommy could provide. She did stop fussing the moment Melica was brought into the recovery room.

I was amazed at how serene and regal Hailey was. She never really cried much after that moment in the recovery room with her mommy. I was amazed at the intense gaze that she had into the eyes of her family. She was a sleepy baby for the most part, but when she opened her eyes and looked into yours, you connected with her deeply. She wanted me to know that she loved me and was thankful for helping her on her journey.

I was able to spend three days with her in the hospital just getting to know her. When she had trouble falling asleep, I would swaddle her in a blanket and lay her on my chest. Yes, I did become an expert swaddler! She was so content and I loved her with my whole being as she rested there. When we brought her home we all got to care for her. Lexy and Nathan were such big helpers and were so gentle with her. Hailey gazed into their eyes just as she did Melica's and mine as to say "I love you brother and sister". I changed lots of diapers it seemed in those six days. This is certainly not a task I cherished in the past, but I considered it an honor to serve Hailey. The nurses even commented on how good I was at it. I don't mean to brag on myself but Hailey had the best diaper changer and swaddler.

I would wake up each morning and thank the Lord for my little sweet angel. I was excited to hold her and kiss her. It was tough to go to work each day and I counted down the hours until I could go home for lunch and be with my family. I don't normally go home for lunch, but I did every day that week. I was there for her first sponge bath and was able to take pictures. I took the one of her on her blue towel that you see down in front on Wednesday.

Hailey was a big fan of the pacifier from day one. This was a blessing for her and for us. When we had to rush Hailey to the hospital on Thanksgiving the nurses had to take blood for tests. I was able to dip her little pacifier in sugar water and hold it for her. This helps babies to endure pain. I was honored to serve her and be there for her in her darkest hours. We held her and comforted her as long as we could. After doing all that the doctors could do they informed us that little Hailey's body could no longer endure. Melica and I then knew that she had to go back home. We were able to go to her side and kiss her face and tell her we loved her and that we would be reunited with her one day. Melica gave her permission to go.

I want to publicly thank my wife for the amazing woman that she is. I stand in awe of her strength and courage. Mothers are in partnership with God and they serve as vessels for the purest of spirits. Mothers perform a sacred duty and they do it with no thought of themselves. I can only strive to be a father equal to that of my children's mother. I want Alexys and Nathan to know how much we love them. I want to be the kind of father that my children deserve to have.

I believe that parenthood is an awesome responsibility. We believe that we lived with our Father in Heaven as spirit children of his before we came to this earth. Our mission is to come to this earth and gain a physical body and live our lives in such a way that would allow us to return home to live with our Father in Heaven again. God planned for us to be born into a family and that parents are responsible for providing physical and spiritual nourishment for each child.

I have felt that the veil between this life and the next has been very thin this last week. The Lord has provided comfort to our family in many ways. The promise of being able to have Hailey with us again is comforting. It was only moments after Hailey passed that I told Melica of the dream I had the night Hailey was born. I was sleeping there on the hospital room couch when I had a dream that Hailey had passed away. The dream was subtle in that Hailey was not herself, but a little teddy bear. It seemed silly that my child was a teddy bear and not a real baby, but sometimes dreams don't make sense. I remember feeling an intense sense of loss and sadness in that dream. I woke up and thought about it, but I dismissed it and put it out of my mind. It was not until Hailey was gone that I realized why I had the dream. The Lord has prepared us for this event in subtle ways and I can now see his tender mercy at work.

I know that our Heavenly Father knows me as an individual. He is aware of our little family and what our needs are, even before we ask. I have learned in my life up to this point that Heavenly Father blesses me with understanding after passing through trials. I have really been blessed in my life and have not had to endure many trials. I was raised in a wonderful family and was shown a lot of love and support. I have not had to struggle with many of life's tragedies because I was raised to obey the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ. The gospel principles are not given to restrict us, but to provide us with a road map for making correct choices that will afford us the blessings that naturally come from obedience. I don't mean to say that if you do everything right, you will be spared from grief or pain. I only know that when tragedy does come you may be given the strength to endure your trials. The scriptures are full of examples of overcoming trials through your faith. The Lord has told us that he will not give us any trials that we are not able to bare, if we put our trust in him. We have choices to make in this life. We cannot choose what happens to us, we may only choose how we will react. We will choose to live better and love deeper so that we may be worthy to live as an eternal family with Hailey.

I would like to encourage you all to go home today and hug your babies. Love people more freely and look for the good in others. Hailey's life has impacted not only our family, but hopefully all of yours after today. We will not be the same family now. We will live with more purpose and intensity. I believe we are all here to complete our life's mission until we are all one day called back home to our Father in Heaven.

Hailey Elizabeth was too perfect for this earth. She was not required to go through the process of refinement as a result of trials. She will never have to endure the hardships we have to face. All she ever knew was the loving touch of those who cared for her. I cannot think of a better life than that. I am honored to call Hailey daughter and will cherish her all the days of my life until I can hold her in my arms once again.

(I just have to note that I am very aggravated with blogger right now because no matter how many spaces I put between the paragraphs it randomly decided which ones it was going to space and the others it just smashed them together. If anyone has any advice on how to make this dumb program do what I want I will gladly take it!)