From the mouth of babes...

I know it has been way too long since I have posted anything.  Especially since this is suppose to be my "journal".  I do want to get back on track with my posts.  I would really like to have the little things in our lives recorded and it makes me sad to think that so many moments have slipped by.  I couldn't let this one go because, well, it wasn't a happy one, but it is part of our life and it shows the heartache that we still endure.  The other day was a particularly rough day with the kids after school.  The kids were exchanging hateful words, short tempers, and were screaming at each other.  I had already knocked Nathan's bedtime down to 20 minutes early.  I was making dinner and thinking "how on earth am I going to do FHE (Family home evening) when I really just want to lock my kids in their room for the night".  So I decided to put on some church music in hopes that it would change the mood in the house.  The kids were in the other room and the next thing I know they are screaming again.  So I went and blasted the church music so that I couldn't hear them.  (I was working really hard not to lose my own temper).  Lexy ended up disappearing to her room.  A few minutes later Nathan came into the kitchen crying.  I figured it had to do with their fighting and really didn't care why he was upset.  But I asked him anyway why he was sad.  He said that he missed Hailey.  Apparently my blasting church music sent his thoughts her way (nice one mom).  We went in the living room where her pictures still sit on the back of the sofa and I sat with him on my lap and we both cried (doesn't take much these days for me to cry).  Then came the heartbreaking question...."Mom, can prayers make someone alive again?"  I said, "Yes, sometimes prayers can help someone live."  Then Nathan said, "Can prayers bring Hailey back?" (Insert my gut-wrenching heartache) "No sweet boy.  Hailey has been gone too long for prayers to bring her back now.  She wasn't meant to stay with us because we prayed for her and it was her time to go."  Then we just sat and cried some more.  These moments Break.My.Heart.  But, they are part of our lives now and will forever be. 

I sure love this boy and thank the Lord every day that he is here with me!