Learning to let loose...

Here's the deal....I am an uptight mom who is an organizational, neat freak. I need a clean house and I don't feel like I function very well without one. So what is the problem with that, you ask? I have a really hard time taking the time to play with my kids when the house is a mess because I feel like I have so little time and that I need to use the time that I have to get something done like the dishes, or the laundry, or filing the mound of papers on the kitchen counter. I have known that this is a problem for a long time, and I will say that recently I have gotten better about playing with the kids even if it's for 30 minutes before bed - so I have been working on it.

Listening to General Conference on Sunday was great for me. I loved all of the talks, but there was one sentence in one of the talks (I don't even know who said it) that hit me the hardest. It was the comment that if our children live in our homes until they are 18, they are only with us for 1/4 of our entire lives. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I know that everyone says that time goes by so fast and enjoy the kids while you can, but this sentence made me feel really selfish. It made me realize that I will have at least half of my life without them (whether I like it or not) and that I can worry about all the silly things I worry about now when I have nothing as important as my children to worry about .
So today I decided that Nathan and I would have an uneventful day together. I ignored the fact that we have no groceries in the house and I ignored the suitcase that has not been unloaded since our trip this past weekend and I also ignored the piles of junk around the house. At one point Nathan and I were in the office together and he spotted the large trash bag full of shredded papers that was sitting by the desk. I had not tied the bag very well and he discovered that he could open the bag and get to the shredded paper. At which point he pulled out a handful and threw it on the floor with a big grin. My first reaction was "oh no you don't"....but then the talk from Sunday popped into my head and I stopped and thought, "how can we have fun with this?" So, I got the big yard gate and set up a barrier in the kitchen, stuck Nathan in there with some toys and the bag of shredded paper and told him to have at it. He played in there for 1 and 1/2 hours. I joined him for some of it and also let him play some by himself for a while. Then we worked together and cleaned it up when we were done. It felt really good to give him something new and fun to do and it even felt good to let him make a huge mess. (Although there are still little papers that made it to other parts of the house, but I am trying really hard to ignore them) :)